Seven Things I Can Do That My Aging Computer Cannot

When my five-year-old computer was declared a "relic" and "unfixable," I wondered what that meant for ME.

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No, that’s not me and that’s not my computer…but it might have well been.

On the last day of vacation - feeling so rested and good about being somewhere warm and getting out of this dreadful winter for 10 days - my computer crashed. My sunny mood swiftly plummeted along with my hard drive.

Kaput. Nada. A dark screen on a computer is a scary thing. Dark…save for the horizontal bar that limped across the bottom part of my screen, screeching toward the finish as it crawled from left to right.

Only the line never quite made it all the way to that finish line, no matter how many times I restarted the machine and told myself it was just a momentary glitch. Moments of hope, dashed with each try.

I was a mess. How would I live without my computer?

I grabbed my iPhone, clicked on the Apple Store app, and scheduled the first appointment for the next morning with one of their Geniuses. I couldn’t bear the thought of returning home unable to use my computer. Unable to do all the things I’d neglected to do because, after all, I WAS ON VACATION.

The next morning, feeling hopeful, I packed up my computer and drove to the Apple Store. Surely it would be a quick in and out. Surely, there was a part that would fix whatever ailed it.

I sat down at the long table, unzipped my computer case, and greeted the Genius with an expectant smile. After a few moments, the Genius looked at me and said, “We cannot fix this computer. It’s a relic.”

I don’t need to tell you that shocked me quite a bit. Maybe you’re more computer-literate than me, but a FIVE YEAR OLD MACHINE, ALREADY BEING SENT TO THE SCRAP PILE????

I worried how I would ever function without my computer. What would become of my daily emails, my calendar, my documents…my LIFE???

I worry all the time that as I get older, I am becoming that computer. A RELIC. Someone whose usefulness is waning, fading, becoming obscure with each passing day. Someone who will become more and more invisible as time goes on. Someone who will be ignored, deemed “unfixable,” given up on.

And now I worry even more. I mean, if a machine can’t be fixed, how can a human body be fixed?

But it can…to a point.

I get gel injections for my arthritic knees. I’m not exactly running, jumping or even dancing. A knee replacement looms, unless there’s a miraculous discovery that can give me better knees through a non-invasive option.

I even got two cortisone injections into the palms of my achy hands, but the tradeoff was questionable. I’m not one who shuns needles - I’m quite well-acquainted with them - but these shots shocked me with the pain they produced, which was a lot worse than the pain I was having in the first place! It is said that pain is forgotten, and yes, I agree (or else I would not have had a second child). But… I’m not running to book another session with the needle anytime soon.

I endure needles in my forehead and between my eyebrows to smooth out lines (Please, don’t judge. I’m not hurting anyone, except maybe myself.)

I have my bad teeth fixed with extractions and extravagantly expensive implants so I don’t have to wear dentures. (My nickname: Mercedes Mouth.)

I smooth the skin on my arms and legs with lotion so the crepey-ness that I never, ever thought I’d get because, after all, I lift weights and won’t that tone me enough??? (Short answer: NO.)

I limit alcohol, fatty foods, sweets (working on this one) and excess calories and make sure to exercise at least four if not more times each week.

I read, do word puzzles, learn new games, travel, and keep my curiosity satisfied to help my brain stay sharp.

One day, possibly in the not-to-distant future, I might get new knees. And if I, or anyone else needed them, there’s a plethora of choices: heart, kidneys, livers, lungs, hips, shoulders, elbows, ankles and wrists.

When the Genius told me I’d have to get a brand new computer, declaring my relic unfixable, I started to speak but then thought better of it. He didn’t want to hear my personal gripes. I was quite confident of that.

Instead, as he walked away to bring another Genius over to complete the complicated transaction, I chose to find a silver lining in my experience. I told myself that although our bodies are machines just like computers, we, as humans, are way more intricate and complex - and possibly more interesting, too - than any computer. The average “life” of a computer is but a blip in the total span of human history.

We, as humans, have the ability to grow, reproduce, adapt and feel, whereas computers merely function as well as a human inputs and instructs.

And then they die.

Suddenly, I felt superior and efficient, even though I’d have to live without my computer for two weeks while I awaited its replacement. I would adapt, and I could figure out a way to exist just fine without this machine. After all, I’d been doing it all the years before the computer ever came into existence.

I got through the wait and discovered new ways to fill my time. I caught up on things like my organizing my closet, and gave myself a lot of time to do some reading, thinking and research for a book I hope to write. I even had time for some phone calls and cooking.

And so, here we are today. I’m happily typing away on my new, improved version of my old relic. I’m happy and feeling a lot more settled. I can get many parts of my life into order now that it’s contained in one place.

But I’m also realizing that we, as humans, give a lot more power to computers than maybe we should. Perhaps we need to look inside ourselves and realize that a lot of power lives there, too.

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