Introducing...AfterthePause (ATP)
Because life doesn't end with menopause.
Hi, Pausers!
Thanks, as always, for being here. It’s subscribers like you who keep me going…you help inspire me to continue writing and researching important topics that concern many (most? all?) of us as we age.
And we are ALL aging, no matter how old - or young - we are. We are aging from the moment we are born, really.
And yet we (naturally) don’t realize it until much later in our lives…don’t we feel like we will be young forever; that aging happens to everyone else but no, not to us? Magical thinking, of course.
I wonder if we knew that one day we’d catch a reflection of ourselves and not recognize the face/body staring back at us as our own and think: “How in the world did I get this old???” we’d live our lives differently, with more intention and perhaps without delaying our dreams.
Which is one reason I am making the switch from writing about menopause to focus more on healthy aging and what happens after menopause. Hence, my newsletter’s new title, “After the Pause.”
Because of long(er) life expectancies, we can now expect to spend up to 40 percent of our lives in the post-menopause stage.
As challenging as aging can be at times (I curse my achy knees and back and wrinkled skin, among other things) I am so grateful to be aging - especially as someone who faced down breast cancer in my 30s and watched my two best friends - and so many others - battle, and lose their lives to the same disease. They never truly had an opportunity to age, and I didn’t feel confident that I would, either.
And here I am, missing them still all these years later, but firmly understanding that aging is truly a privilege in so many ways. A privilege that must be handled with authority, knowledge, toughness, and respect.
Years ago, when I was going through the many challenges of menopause (hot flashes! night sweats! brain fog! mood swings!) I wanted to write about it. (Usually, it’s my personal experiences that both drive and inform my writing). I wanted to write about menopause as a way of learning more about it, and as a way of commiserating with other women who were in a similar situation.
The situation at that point in time: Our bodies our minds, our outlooks, our whole lives (it seemed) were changing, yet there was little information available to us. Magazines, our main source of knowledge (remember them?) did not want to publish anything about menopause, because, after all, it was a reminder that we were getting OLD, and that was DEPRESSING. Topics like AGE didn’t sell magazines. What sold magazines? Youth, sex, glamour, beauty, solid bodies, stargazing and schoolgirl cool.
The situation now, 20 years later: Magazines are (mostly) gone. Menopause is hot, hot, hot; the topic of the day. It’s Oprah, Halle Berry, Drew Barrymore, Gwyneth. They’re all eager to share details of their menopause journeys because there are so many underserved women, hungry for that information.
For a long time - as soon as menopause was firmly on the map - I wrote about it. I wrote a big article titled “Period. The End.” for Family Circle magazine (I tried to link to it, but sadly, it’s no longer online.) Following that article, I wrote for health websites, for tech start-ups, for anyone who needed menopause content and finally, for my own newsletter (which you are currently reading). A large multinational consumer goods company approached me, wanting to make me the “voice of menopause,” and flew me out to their headquarters for a multi-day meeting with corporate heads and physicians whose aim was to “put menopause on the map” and devote entire sections of drugstores to menopause products.
All thrilling and exciting, for sure.
And now, here I am. (And maybe you are, too.) Finished with menopause and officially considered “post-menopause” for THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
From this point on, it’s even more important to pay attention to our health, because menopause changes things, not only while you are going through it, but forever and ever.
I’ll end this very lengthy message (thank you for reading this far) by welcoming you to our new chapter, one where we can (still) explore and embrace opportunities and be active, healthy and happy as we get older.
Knowing that 20 percent of our health is due to genetics, about 20 percent is due to the medical care we receive, and the other 60 percent is due to social, behavioral, and environmental factors can make it easier to face aging head-on and know we have power to influence and control it.
What I’m reading: I often like alternating between novels and non-fiction books. Right now, I’m engrossed in Sally Rooney’s new book, “Intermezzo,” a story of two very different brothers (but so much more). It took me a while to get into it, since her style of writing is unusual (lots of dialog with no quotation marks, for instance), but once I caught on, I got carried away in the story, her insights and the way she expresses such deep feelings. And when I want something different, I (try to) pick up “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins. I tend to shun self-help books, but I’ve been hearing so much about this that I thought why not? My reaction? TBD, because I haven’t been able to tear myself away from Intermezzo quite yet.
What I’m watching: I’m loving the current season of Hacks with Jean Smart (wow, she is a force!!!). I’m also loving the intensity and realness of the medical drama, The Pitt, and so impressed with Noah Wyle (who has aged very well since ER).
What makes me smile: Lately I’m a sucker for cute babies and puppies. They never fail me.
What makes me cry: Injustice. Unfairness. Crudeness. Ineptness. Feeling helpless.
And…it’s a wrap. Thanks for taking this journey with me. And stay tuned for more issues of AfterthePause. Please feel free to leave a comment with any thoughts, compliments, criticisms and/or suggestions. And - oh, how could I forget?? - feel free to become a subscriber, if you’re not already one!
Glad to hear about this new direction. Looking forward to reading.